Dear Ms. Mabel,

My fiancé and I just had our first real fight and I’m not sure what to make of it. She’s typically a very reasonable person. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with her, she’s very level headed and logical. Two days ago, we were discussing life plans and hypothetical situations in regard to our future children. We didn’t agree on one particular thing, and she got VERY upset – so upset that things are still a bit strained between us. I’m not sure exactly what to do about this. I love her, but I wonder if this is a sign of what's to come.

Conflict Concern,

Cedar Hill, TN

Truth be told, my first thought was that I want to smack you upside the head for the phrase “I love her, but..” But nothing, dude. You either love her or you don’t, no ifs/ands/buts about it.

But then …

My second thought was that I was married for 268 years (or it seems like anyways) so I know very well the feelings behind “I love them, but…”

Now I wasn’t there, so I don’t know if her going all banana sandwich on you was warranted. I don’t even know what your definition of “very upset” actually looks like. But all of that is kinda beside the point.

Your issue is your soon-to-be wife let her emotions rule and you don’t know what to think about that.

My guess is that it’s one of two things. One, you’ve triggered some sort of trauma response in her, in which case I cannot help you. That’s something y’all need to address head on, together, possibly involving a counselor or trusted friend.

Now, the second option is something I can address. I think it’s highly likely she’s begun to fully trust you. Not the kind of trust that prompts someone to tell you a secret. It’s deeper than that.

The best way to explain it is by comparing it to the relationship between a mother and her child. We’ve all seen how children reserve their absolute WORST behavior for their mothers. It’s because they know, without any doubt, "Momma is still going to love me no matter how bad I act".

The same goes for when a woman lets her inner crazy rear its ugly head. Now girls, don’t get your panties in a bunch over that last statement. If you can’t admit we’re all a little kookie-dukes, then you are probably crazier than the rest of us.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. Women get emotional with men they trust. There’s nothing wrong with that; it’s the way we are made. If you want someone who thinks logically all the time, you might want to consider marrying a man.

Okay, but that’s not exactly new information for most people. So let me tell all y’all why it’s important for women to BE emotional…

The fate of society DEPENDS on it.

Stay with me, I’ll make it make sense.

If life as we know it was mostly built on the backs of strong men with big ideas, then the emotions of a woman are the glue that held all that together.

I mean, first of all, those great men had to have a Momma. And in most cases, she loved them unconditionally. So much so that she’d care for their every need even after they coughed INTO her mouth or threw up into her outstretched hand. Even those hard-nosed type Moms taught those boys a thing or two about compassion.

Second, do me a favor men: go strip down naked and stand in front of the mirror. Take a long hard look at yourself and ponder the question, “If my woman DIDN’T think emotionally, would she still be with me?” Be honest with your hairy self.

Trust me, honey, she’s gotta be thinking with her heart and you need to be thanking the good Lord that she does. If we didn’t fall in love like we do, humans would die off pretty quick.

Now, listen fella – here you’ve got a choice. You can blow this off and complain about women being too emotional, or actually listen to what I’m trying to tell you.

Your fiancé is different from you and that’s more than okay, it’s vital. She trusts you. She loves you. And someday she’s going to give you a baby for you both to love unconditionally.

Be the rock where she can lay down her emotions and y’all are gonna be just fine.