Dear Ms. Mabel,

My in-laws are coming to visit soon, and I REALLY want to make a good impression on my mother-in-law. This will be their first time staying with us since we got married. Any good hospitality tips?

Striving to Shine,

Springfield, TN

Truth be told, I’d rather plop down on a still-warm toilet seat in a public restroom than go back and relive the time in my life where I needed to impress anyone. Whew.  It makes me tired just thinking about it. 

Before I answer your question, let me ask a couple of my own. Are you trying to impress your mother-in-law because you REALLY like her? Or are you trying to impress her because she doesn’t seem to like YOU?  

If you have a good relationship with your mother-in-law, then my tips might work for you. But if she doesn’t like you, I can promise there’s not a darn thing you can do to change that. Best just leave well enough alone in that case (unless you’ve wronged her in some legitimate way and need to apologize, of course).

Now, assuming you’re just trying to impress her because you look up to her a little, here's what I would do…

1). Stock your pantry. Find out what coffee they drink and have it on hand. If they have dietary restrictions, grab some snacks that meet their needs. Have everything at the ready. 

2). Make it cozy and convenient. I don’t know about y’all, but staying at someone’s house can get kind of awkward for me. I don’t particularly like someone fussing over me, but it’s tricky to do for yourself when you don’t know where anything is. Make sure to point out the location of things like drinking glasses, bathroom linens and extra blankets before your guests have to ask. If you want to go all out, make them a little guest room “welcome basket” full of things they might need while they are there.

3). The nose knows. I’m sure you’re gonna be cleaning like a mad woman, but I’ll tell you this: nothing makes a bathroom feel as clean as the faint smell of bleach hitting your nostrils as you enter the door. And the smell of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies says “welcome home” in at least seven different languages. You can’t go wrong with either one of those. 

4). Have a plan. Don’t wait until they get here to figure out what you’ll be doing together. I suggest asking for your mother-in-law’s help at some point. Whether it’s learning one of her recipes or asking for advice on something she’s mastered, a quick way to someone’s heart is through their ego. 

5). Relax. No one wants to hang around a stressed, uptight worry wart. Don’t get so caught up in impressing her that you forget to have fun. Her son loves you and if she loves her son, she probably loves you too by proxy, at least. 

I think it’s really sweet that you want to make a good impression on your new family. Like I said, I wouldn’t go back to that stage for nothing, but I’m happy to see that you young girls still care. 

You know, it’s funny. On the surface it looks like y’all live a completely different life than I did, but that just isn’t true. Oh, the accessories and extras have changed, but girls are still the same girls at our core. I like that. 

Good luck, darling. Let me know how it goes!