Dear Ms. Mabel,

I’ve had a lot of disappointment and heartache in my life the past year. I’m very close to just selling my house and moving across the country and not looking back. Is that running away from my problems?

Lost soul,

Sadlersville, TN

Truth be told, it's POSSIBLE you’ve been watching too many of them romance movies where a woman moves to a foreign country, meets some man with his shirt half unbuttoned, and suddenly her life is now changed for the better. 

Now, I say it’s possible because I don’t know what’s happened to you and I sure as heck can’t predict the future but I let me ask you this…

Have you ever gone to the grocery store hungry?

Of course you have. We’ve all done it and it happens the same way.  

First, you can bet your booty you’ll make terribly impulsive food choices. You’ll rationalize how you might look weird walking around the store gnawing on an apple, but it’s easy to hide a twinkie up your shirt sleeve and sneak a few bites …. or so I’ve heard. And then, we don’t even want to talk about the total shame of laying a half-empty box of Little Debbies on the conveyor belt and then over-explaining to the cashier about how hungry you were.  

Now, like I said, I don’t have a crystal ball to see how your life is gonna turn out, but I do know that making major life decisions when your emotions are high is a lot like going to the grocery store when you’re hungry.

If you’re sad, it’s natural to seek out happiness, but if you’re desperate for joy you’ll accept short-term excitement as the real deal. That gets multiplied a million times if you’re also lonely. We know the apple is the better option, but the twinkie will do in a pinch. That goes for everything – your career, your relationships, and anything else that matters deeply to you. 

I’m not going to say you’re running from your problems, but it’s possible you’re being a little rash. 

I’m sorry you’ve had a bad run. I’ve had a few of those years myself; thankfully, I had people to keep me grounded. I’ll never forget when I’d had a terrible few months and a good friend of mine looked at me and said, “Well, the great thing about rock bottom is that you can only go up from here.” 

If you don’t have anyone to bare your soul to, find a trained professional who can help you muddle through it all. That might be a good idea regardless, really. 

Keep your chin up, baby girl. Don’t run off just yet or whatever has happened here will stow away in your moving boxes and find a spot at your new place. 

Try to find a little joy in every day and it’s gonna be better before you know it. Then, you can send us a postcard from your whole new life. Bonus points if you find the man with the missing buttons.

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