Dear Ms. Mabel, 

What’s the best way to deal with differences of opinions within a family? My brother and I have VERY different political views. It seems every conversation turns into an argument. How do I get him to listen to my side without things getting too heated? 

I don't want to fight,

Springfield, TN

Truth be told, I wish I could talk to both of you about this. I’d do you like I did my children when they were little — sit y’all down on the couch and make you hug ‘til you agreed not to fight anymore. What a silly thing to let come between siblings. 

There’s a reason it used to be considered bad manners to discuss things like religion and politics openly. Now it seems social media has made it so that EVERYONE feels like their opinions should be on display. 

My husband, bless his heart, really thought he was funny. He had two “jokes” he liked to recycle any time he saw the opportunity. 

The first was, “The only real difference between a Baptist and Methodist is that a Methodist will speak to you in a liquor store.” He really liked that one. Even told it to the preacher a few times. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. 

The second was a running joke that came up every election season. Anytime we were in public he’d find any Democrats he knew and make a joke about their votes “canceling each other out.” They’d share a laugh and move on. It wasn’t that funny. They all thought it was hilarious, though.

It wasn’t that different back then. People disagreed A LOT. There were hot-button issues that got both sides all up in arms. The thing was, at least with the people I knew anyways, we valued loving our “neighbors” as much as we valued our own opinions. Back then, people knew it wouldn’t matter who was in office if their house burnt down or a tornado came through. What WOULD matter is our relationship with community and, more importantly, our family. 

The same is still mostly true, wouldn’t you agree? 

Let me ask you this: Do you love your brother? If he died tomorrow, would his political opinions still matter? 

No? 

Alright then, so what’s the point in fussing about stuff when nobody is going to change their opinions anyways? 

Folks are just arguing way too much nowadays and ain’t a single one of you actually listening,  so you might as well just be quiet. What are you fighting for anyways? Change? Go BE the change you want to see. Your words ain’t doing a darn thing. 

Listen to me, most of the time it’s better to be kind than to be right — that’s my hill worth dying on. 

Just make sure whichever hill you choose is really worth it, too.