Truth be told it’s more productive to crawl up under the bed to look for cat turds than give advice.

People get all worked up when you tell them they’re wrong. But I’m sick of watching y’all make a mess out of things when there's a better way to do it. So, I’m offering my advice to anyone who will listen, free of charge. The great thing about being old is if I make someone mad, I’m going to forget the whole thing by dinner time anyways. 

I was raised on a farm in rural Tennessee and was the youngest of 4 children—all boys except me. I learned real quick how to stand up for myself, but it took me a few years to grasp that it's better to catch bees with honey, otherwise you get the stinger. I’ve stood by that my whole life. It’s not easy showing love to someone you don’t really like, but you’ll be better for it 100% of the time. 

Recently my granddaughter, Melissa, called me to chat and mentioned she hadn’t been sleeping well for the last three nights. Her neighbor’s dog has been keeping her awake, barking and carrying on after dark. She was considering calling the police. When I asked her if she’d actually spoken to the neighbor, she said hadn’t, and she didn’t even know their name. 

What’s wrong with you young people? Why don’t you know your neighbors?  Years ago, we called the antisocial folk “weirdos,” but apparently ignoring people is the cool thing to do nowadays. 

Anyways, her biggest concern was that she didn’t know how the neighbor would react to the complaint. Obviously I told her to quit being a chicken, change out of whatever little bitty ole things she was wearing and put on big girl panties. Then bake some cookies and deliver them to her new neighbor. Attach a note that says, “Your dog woke me up at 2 am. I had nothing better to do, so I baked you some cookies.” 

She said something about the note being passive aggressive, and what if the neighbors were gluten free, but I thought it was perfect.  What do I know?  If the neighbor opened his mouth to fuss, she could just shove a cookie in there and walk away. Who can be mad with a cookie in your mouth? Also, what does not having rear end muscles have to do with eating cookies?

Despite my best efforts, she decided against the note but delivered the cookies the next day. The neighbor’s door was answered by a tired looking young woman holding a newborn baby and the dog in question at her heels, barking incessantly. The young woman apologized for the dog, saying that since they brought the baby home the dog was “crazy protective.” 

She stepped out onto the porch away from the noise so that she could thank my granddaughter and introduced herself as Olivia. They chatted there for a bit like neighbors are supposed to. Melissa learned that the dog was protective of the new baby and it was trying to sleep in the nursery and sneak into the baby's crib. Y’all know how new moms are— tired and worrying themselves half crazy. Bless her heart.  They’d been leaving the dog outside for the last three nights while the baby was sleeping until they could come up with a better plan. 

Melissa also learned that Olivia’s husband would be deploying with the Army soon, so she didn’t want to get rid of the dog, as his presence gives Olivia some security. My granddaughter has a good friend who trains service dogs, so she offered to reach out to her for a solution. Melissa called me a few days later to tell me that the issue had been resolved and she was in the process of making my breakfast casserole recipe to take to her new friend next door. 

Ain't it funny how that worked out? I still think shoving a cookie in someone’s mouth would have yielded the same end result, but Melissa’s way worked out fine too… I suppose. Moral of the story, don’t be a chicken, talk to your neighbors, show kindness when you are frustrated, and never assume you know a stranger's story. 

Well, that’s all for now. Listen, if y’all need some advice, I’ll be happy to help. I think some of you could benefit from a smidge of this hard earned wisdom I’m carrying around. Life has taught me a lot of  lessons, and if you’re smart, you’ll learn from them yourself.  I don’t have anything better to do, that’s for darn sure. I found myself hollering at the television during an episode of Matlock the other day. So thanks Stay Positive News for giving this old woman a chance.

If you’d like to get some advice from me, you can submit your story here. 

‍